Ray Gun To Make DNC Protesters Spurt Diarrhea

Here is a fun domestic terror tactic to use against people protesting a political convention: Fire a ray gun at a crowd of these ingrates and then laugh as they all convulse and then shit themselves and then disperse, to die, because their bowels have just been microwaved. Fox News says such weaponry will be deployed at this summer’s Democratic Convention in Denver.

Nothing says “hope” and “change” like using science-fiction weaponry on American citizens using their constitutional right to peaceably assemble, “and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” And the First Amendment doesn’t even exclude FREE MUMIA signs, ineptly constructed puppets that don’t look anything like Bush or Gordon Brown or whoever, or those goddamned “WHOSE STREETS? OUR STREETS!” kids in their Misfits skull shirts from the Hot Topic shop in the mall.